* Internet Explorer is more commonly known as “the Internet” when you say “open the Internet”, you mean opening IE. You have no idea what a “browser” is, or that there are alternatives to IE.

* Even search engines aren’t excluded from the above; to go to Yahoo, you search for “yahoo” in MSN Search or Google (whichever you use as your start page).

* You’d never even think of using the Internet for leisure or learning; there’s nothing even vaguely interesting there. (Exception: chat rooms and MSN Messenger are cool. You can even meet babes!) Any new page you visit is because a friend or co-worker emailed the link to you.

* The more extra toolbars on “the Internet” (see above), the better and more useful it is, even if you end up with 8 different search boxes, and never actually use them.

* All computers in the world run Windows. You don’t know what an “operating system” is, and don’t imagine that anyone could possibly want to use something instead of Windows. (Exception: if you’re older, you may remember that, decades ago, computers ran MS-DOS, which was much harder to use because you had to type (and memorize) gibberish-like commands.)

* There are, exactly, two games in the world: Solitaire and Minesweeper. You’d never, ever think of searching for, much less download, another one.

* There’s no such thing as a “word processor”, or a “spreadsheet”. There is Word, and Excel, respectively. It’s inconceivable that there could ever be a computer without them.

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